The End is Never the End

I do not want to write this blog. It’s hard to talk about failure, efforts that come up short, things that don’t work out. After a long, hard semester, my proposed research in Haiti is one of those things. A few days ago I got an email from the International Oversight Committee with a very generic letter attached to it denying my request to travel there as an affiliate of the university because they have designated it a “category 1 (most extreme risk) restricted region.” Other category 1 restricted regions include Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, North Korea, the Gaza Strip, Somalia, Sudan, and Yemen… (One of these things is not like the other one?)

I, after all of this, was not about to take no for an answer. But after talking to all of the people I know who could potentially help me, I think its actually done this time. There is no appeals process. The IOC board members are very high up in the system. I was able to get the contact info for the board chair after barging into someone’s office yesterday unannounced, but I’m not feeling optimistic about it. I can’t meet with her, I was only invited to “write” her if I have any questions. The bureaucracy doesn’t know me, it doesn’t care.

So that means I will not be able to conduct research on the students at Respire Haiti Christian School, research targeted at helping the most vulnerable students and restaveks. I will not get data that will help us identify barriers to their education and subsequently develop programs and policies to mitigate those barriers. I will not get data that can be used to get grants, educate more people on the restavek problem, or advocate for these students.

Man, what can I say? I did all I could do. I’m trying not to have regrets about all the work that was done or harbor bitter feelings about it because I know that won’t do me any good. But now I’m feeling so directionless; like my purpose has been taken from me and replaced with a hazy confusion.

I am still going to Haiti. I will fly out June 4. Not sure what I will be doing there but I’m clinging to the belief that it will be something useful. Because I do yet have a purpose that cannot be taken from me: to fight against oppression, slavery, and injustice. What that looks like now though has become a whole lot less clear.

Praying for grace. Praying for guidance.  

Thank you for the continued love and support, it has kept me going. It will keep me going and great things are to be accomplished yet in the name of Jesus for justice for these people. After all, the end is never the end in Christ.